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The Meeting was called to order at
7:40. 5 first time guests and 5 second or third time guests rose
and were recognized. The critic for the night was to be appointed
by the judges of tonight’s program, which was: The first bi-annual
“Put Your Mouth Where Our Money Is!” Speech contest. ALL TEN GUESTS
SPOKE, and spoke well. Applause was heard in spades. In short, the
first bi-annual “Put Your Mouth Where Our Money Is!” Speech
contest was a complete success. Let’s hope there is a second.
In committee reports: Mr. Shumaker
rose to announce the oration declamation on May 22. Mr. Bowman rose
to announce the East-West Bistro as the site of the Spring Banquet,
and, as is his duty, told the guests of the rules of the Society.
Ms. Mingledorff rose as PR committee member to ask for suggestions
for uses for the glass cabinets in the library which will be
ear-marked for use of the Demosthenian society in the near future.
In Old Business: Mr. Weir rose to
announce the election of Mr. Magda to statewide office in the duchy
of the College Republicans. Also, Mr. Guy was elected, after near
mortal struggle, to the chairmanship of the University College
Republicans. Mr. Weir went on to donate a book to the society by
and about Maggie Thatcher, of punk group Riot Grrrl fame. He
admires all three for standing up for what they believe in.
In New Business: Mr. Bowman rose to
say that Americans should examine who this country belongs to and
did belong to originally. He presented:
Whereas, The cultural sovereignty of
a diminished people should override the scientific curiosity of
outsiders, Be It Resolved, The UGA Anthropology department should
return its Native American artifacts to the tribes to which they
most closely belong.
Respectfully Submitted, Derek
Bowman.
Mr. Guy said that there was no
written history of Native Americans, and this research would help
them learn more about themselves and their history than they may
learn through oral tradition alone.
Mr. Gable said that Native Americans
had no property rights, really, but we should treat them as well as
we expect to be treated. Agreed with the spirit of the resolution.
--At this time, the 3 member judging
committee, consisting of Mr. Pyrdum, Ms. Shillington, and Mr.
VanMeter, arose to award the three cash prizes of the public
speaking contest to 3 deserving winners, though they were all great
speakers.
The society returned to debate, and
Mr. Shumaker rose to vehemently disagree with the resolution. He
said perhaps we are beholden to the Native American peoples, but we
can preserve and best help them by continuing to display the
artifacts. Perhaps, he amended, we should ask permission first.
Ms. McKinney rose to say that she,
indeed, is in the anthropology department. How Evil! Said that
they’re still putting together the maps of where different cultures
lived, and it would be near impossible to decipher who lived where
and when. Said the argument has gotten political.
Mr. Weir talked of the protesters,
the Student for Environmental Awareness, and said they were freaks.
Said Indian reservations have lots of casinos, and that Native
Americans are only trying to turn a buck by selling the artifacts
themselves.
Mr. Van Meter chose to disagree with
the “Whereas” clause. Said the way of the world is, to the victor
goes the spoils. Disagrees with the idea of “cultural property.”
Mr. Pyrdum said it’s a lose-lose
situation for the white man, but that white man did bring a written,
scientific tradition that aided Native America in knowing its own
culture.
Mr. Miller rose in support of the
resolution as a member of the Students for Environmental Awareness.
Said that the definition of “rights” is being distorted and that we
must show Native Americans that we respect what they respect.
Mr. Lowe (guest) Said that we should
look at it from the Native American point of view, and that they
probably don't want their ancestors’ remains desecrated. Said that
if it dishonors them, then we should stop.
Ms. Shillington rose to disagree
with the resolution. Said that the study is more of an honor than a
dishonor.
Mr. Choi (president) rose to make
one point: Who really needs Native American bones? He said that the
resolution was about American guilt over past crimes and warned that
it would open us up to other attacks of conscience.
A motion was made; the question was
called; the resolution fails 3-8.
Mr. Gable then rose to ask: Why make
it illegal to sell something that it is legal to give away for
free? Like, say, Prostitution. Said that there is more benefit
than harm in legalizing it. He presented: Be It Resolved,
Prostitution should be legalized in the United States.
Respectfully, Philip Gable.
Mr. Pyrdum said that there is a
problem with decriminalizing prostitution in that “shining palaces
of pleasure” will not immediately rise up. He said the stereotype
of pimps beating on girls doesn’t make business sense
Mr. Bjurmark (guest) said that he
agrees with the resolution because we have a lot of stupid laws:
Blue laws, marijuana. Legalizing prostitution would get people off
the dole, and get them to pay taxes to contribute to society.
Mr. Guy rose to say that the
resolution would not be economical, and that unwanted pregnancies
will increase, which will mean more people on the dole. Said that
no will register and that the underground will still reign.
Mr. Weir said that prostitution is
revolting and WRONG! The decision could only drive our nation
further down into the MORAL ABYSS. Said he doesn’t want the
government sanctioning this.
Mr. Miller rose to say that he is a
Libertarian and that this issue falls under that the freedom to
pursue happiness. Said that money doesn’t make something wrong, and
that they make the system work in Nevada.
Mr. Lowe (guest) rose in support of
the resolution. Said he doesn’t think it’s morally right, but it
should be legally right. We should have the right to choose.
Ms. Mingledorff rose in strong
disagreement to the resolution. Talked about Sigmund Freud and the
Id. Said that prostitution is immoral, and if your mother and
father would be ashamed, you shouldn’t do it.
Mr. Shumaker said he was voting for
the resolution because it will make someone mad. Said that shame is
individual, and each person has rights. Should the US govern
morality? That is the question.
Mr. Bowman said that he is not
Semantics Boy, and that you should vote for the resolution if you
are only voting against it for semantic reasons. Does this make him
Anti-Semantic?
Mr. Hudson admitted his fear of sex
and blamed society’s hang-ups for his inadequacies. Lamented the
fact that we get more upset by sex than violence.
Someone called the question, and the
resolution passes 5-4
A motion was
made to adjourn, which the society did at 11:10, but only after Mr.
Van Meter’s Critic’s Report.
Uncle Choi:
This is the last warning. No more interruptions, or I won't
finish the story.
Alright? Alright. Now, when the
three Demosthenians returned, they found the
place in a frightful state.
“Someone’s been drinking my punch,” cried Ms. Richie.
“Someone’s been drinking my Coke,”
screamed Mr. Pyrdum, “Someone’s been
at my Lemonade,” stammered Mr.
Stuart, and it’s all gone!”
Mr.
Miller: Aww. No more Lemonade.
Uncle Choi:
That’s right, now go to sleep. The three Demosthenians ran
quickly up the stairs
to see if any more damage had been
done. When they arrived they saw an even
more frightening sight. They
approached the bench without asking permission
and Ms. Richie said “Someone’s been
sitting in my Secretary’s chair!” Mr.
Pyrdum said “Someone’s been sitting
in the Vice-President's chair!” Mr. Stuart
said “Someone’s been sitting in the
President’s chair, and he’s still there!”
Ms. Yarber:
That was you, wasn’t it Uncle Choi?
Uncle Choi:
Go back to sleep, now! Yes, that was me, and do you know what
I did? I grabbed
the gavel and ran meetings for a
whole quarter. I have held on to that gavel ever
since.
Ms.
Moultrie: Can I see?
Uncle Choi:
Maybe when you’re older. For now, good night.
Submitted
Respectfully this First day of May, Nineteen Hundred Ninety Seven,
Leonard D.
Hudson, Secretary.
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