Minutes of the DLS: September 9, 1999

The sun had set and it was growing dark on North Campus… well, not too dark since the gagillion megawatt spotlights illuminated the hall quite nicely. Miss Moultrie and a few other Demosthenians hung about the hall, calling those not there, and preparing for something. In the midst of their activity, someone began fumbling with the lock – and an exhausted, dirty, smelly Mr. Slone fell through the door way and collapsed on the floor, faintly panting the words: "I – finally – made – it."

"Slone! Where have you been?" cried Ms Moultrie.

Regaining his breath he sputtered, "What do you mean? Don’t you remember leaving me on the side of the road to die? I’ve been walking for days."

"Oh, don’t be so dramatic, we knew you’d find your way back eventually – all you had to do was keep walking 78" she said, "But that does mean you’ve missed all the excitement."

"Oh yeah," chimed in Mr. Cohoon, "since you all brought Toombs back to the hall, this place has been packed. Some nights there are full meetings going on upstairs, and they are always lounging around downstairs. Crawford Long said he was surprised we still had the same faded couches as in his day."

"Anyway, Toombs told me to assemble all the current members for a special meeting tonight" added Ms. Moultrie, "He was the voice speaking all along"

The meeting was called to order at 7:24 pm. Fifteen first time guests attended. There were eleven second- and third-time guests. Ms. Wilson was appointed critic. The society moved through committee reports. A motion was accepted to move the special election so to be subject to adjournment.

In Old business, Mr. Morgan rose to address the society and its guests about the life story of the ancient Greek Demosthenes, the greatest orator of all time and our namesake.

Moving into new business, Ms. Johnson took the floor describing the desperate need for organs in this country and the lengths to which people will go to get them. She presented

Be it Resolved: The United States should adopt the policy of "presumed consent" in regards to organ donation.

Becky Johnson

Mr. Peterson, guest, refuted the resolution, stating that the United States should look to the promises of biotechnology to solve the problem of needed organs.

Mr. Morgan discussed the theories of Thomas Malthus and the problem of overpopulation, as well as the selfishness of Americans using their disproportionate wealth to save themselves.

Mr. Pyrdum stated that the presumption of what will happen to one’s body after death helps shape one’s living identity, and presumed consent would take away part of that identity.

Mr. Gandy, guest, reflected that with such a desperate societal need, he would go a step further and require mandatory organ donation.

Mr. Goodhew thought the idea of presumed consent a good one, especially since it would be easy for those who disagree to make themselves exempt from the policy. People would need to be properly informed of their right to do so.

Mr. Cureton, guest, thought that all the arguments against the resolution were moot because when you are dead you are gone, and do not need your body. If someone did not want to donate, they should do something about it.

Ms. Mikel cited the chance that biotechnology might one day make it possible to bring people back from the dead, and that based on even that slim chance, we should not be subject to presumed consent.

Ms. Frawley said that giving someone life out of death is a beautiful thing. The abundant supply of organs would stop potential abuse, Europe has the right idea.

Ms. Cunningham, guest, thought that the resolution presumed far too much; do all who are sick want these organs?

Ms. Kravig pointed out that when people die they leave estates to be used, why not one’s organs? The body is an asset and we should allow others to make use of it after we die.

Mr. Rivner was scared by the resolution, why should organs be distributed free when the economy could benefit from the fortune to be made from dead bodies; he said that Reagan would be spinning in his grave.

Mr. Cohoon suggested an organ donation cooperative, so that those who are willing to donate their own organs would have access while those who will not donate their own would not be able to receive any.

Mr. Kennedy, guest, reflected that Americans want to live forever and should grow up. If you are a good person you want to help others in the best way possible, support the resolution.

The question was called and a motion was made to have a guest vote. The resolution passed 16-6 among the guests and passed 9-6 among the membership.

Mr. Pyrdam described several examples that show our society is a captive audience for increasingly audacious advertisers. He presented

Be it Resolved: Advertisers are the secret cancer destroying the world.

Respectfully,

Carl Pyrdum

Mr. Goodhew pointed out that advertisers are there to give us options and can be a good force. People can avoid disreputable services and advertisers through their actions.

Ms. Rehn, guest, thought that advertisers should have limits. She focused on the problem of pornography advertisements on the internet, while appropriate to some are also too easily accessible to minors.

Mr. Edwards, guest, said that advertising pays the fees allowing free television and internet services, and that we learn to tune out those we wish to ignore.

Mr. Callahan brought the society a Budwieser and Nike-sponsored speech, stating that we learn to ignore advertisements when we have our own opinions.

Mr. Cooper, guest, reflected that we ought to look at who is feeding these extreme advertisers through purchases. We ought to speak out and take action.

Ms. Moultrie agreed that advertisers provide us many things for free. Advertisements may become annoying, but they help provide us with access to news information.

Ms. Cunningham, guest, stated that we can choose where we visit on the web and what sort of internet neighborhood provider we affiliate with. Until some better neighborhood exists we must deal with ads.

Ms. Johnson said that advertisers are like insurance companies, necessary evils. For all their problems though, they are not a "secret" cancer.

Mr. Morgan told the society that advertisers can fool us into going after what we do not necessarily want or need, and the resources spent on advertising amount to wasted capital.

Ms. Kravig discussed the hidden advertising of product choices and placement in the movies and on television programs themselves.

Ms. Mikel disagreed with the resolution, since all advertisers do is attempt to appeal to our desires. If they are a cancer, it is one caused by us.

The question was called, failing 2 to 4 among the guests and 2 to 9 among the members.

Mr. Rivner took the floor and babbled on while waiting for the muses to inspire a resolution. He stated that lack of knowledge is the crux of civilization. He presented

Be it resolved: B.S. or nonsense is more important than thought.

Asher Rivner

Mr. Morgan said that the flaw in the resolution is that there must be thought to realize that there is B.S.

At this point, Mr. Rivner amended the resolution, which then read,

Be it resolved: B.S. or nonsense is more important than thought-out, logical ideas.

Asher Rivner

Mr. Callahan refuted the resolution, since you can throw BS out there, but only good ideas will get you anywhere.

Ms. Kravig corrected the previous argument that thought was a prerequisite to BS. She cited her personal experience in Biology 1107 with stabbing reproducing platyhelmenthese.

Ms. Cunningham, guest, agreed with the resolution and saw filibustering as BS written into the Constitution.

Mr. Pyrdum had a dream about a purple crocodile and asked us to think about it.

The question was called, passing among the guests 6 to 2 and failing among the members 3 to 9.

Mr. Morgan took the floor, discussed his great hair, and then moved the discussion to a man with really, really bad hair. He presented:

Be it resolved: Michael Bolton has really bad hair, be it further resolved: The secretary of the DLS shall write a letter to Mr. Bolton to inform him of this undeniable fact.

Respectfully,

Baxter Morgan

The question was called, passing 7 to 1 among the guests and failing 4 to 7 among the members.

The meeting adjourned at 10:40 pm, subject to the Ms. Wilson’s critics’ report and the special election for treasurer, which Ms. Benewitz won unanimously.

Responding to frantic calls from those at the hall, each member who had ignored Mr. Slone’s crazy voice-hearing episode entered the lower chamber, as awe and wonderstruck as Mr. Slone and Ms. Moultrie had been. Looking around, Mr. Cohoon commented, "wow, there’s the ghost of a young Crawford Long… and that’s the ghost of a young Mr. Pyrdum – oh wait, that is Mr. Pyrdum."

Finally the whole band was gathered in the back of the upper chamber, silently watching the proceedings within the packed room. "Hey, what’s Toombs doing in my chair?" whined Mr. Slone. When the present speaker finished, President Toombs beckoned them inside, and soon a recess was called to welcome the guests to the meeting.

"Don’t make any sudden moves," warned Ms. McKinney, "we don’t want him to pull an axe on us."

"I would like to welcome all of you and thank you for joining us. And thank you," he said, turning to Mr. Slone and Ms. Moultrie, "for listening and bringing this together for me."

"More people should know about this! They should come see this! Quick, someone design a flier!" suggested Mr Crouse.

"No, don’t worry about fliers. They will come, I told you that. They won’t know exactly why or how, but they’ll happen upon the hall on Thursday nights, coming in herds and hordes, coming to…"

"to sit back and watch everyone else do the talking?" suggested Ms. Benewitz.

"to realize that BS or nonsense is more important than logical ideas?" offered Mr. Rivner, "or, on second thought, just to drink lots of lemonade?"

Toombs interrupted to finish "… to find college life the way it used to be, as it should be, and where it still is at Demosthenian."

Respectfully submitted,

Kelly Frawley