Minutes of the DLS: October 14, 1999

"Buried Treasure!"

One Thursday night, whilst Demosthenians sought physical and spiritual nourishment at Peppino’s, Slone pulled out a tattered piece of parchment and laid it down on the table.

"I have a map for buried treasure!" he announced. As usual, no one was paying him any attention, so he tried again, "Treasure! I have a map for treasure!"

Since the folks were, after all, broke college students desperate for lemonade money, this time they listened up. They leaned in and peered at the paper.

Unfolding the map, Slone added, "See, here at the X it says, ‘A Great Treasure.’"

"Well, what’s that supposed to mean?" whined Callahan.

"I don’t know, What does it mean to you?" he retorted, imagining a stockpile of all Stevenson’s old porn.

The meeting was called to order at 7:32 p.m. There was one first time guest and 4 second and third time guests. Mr. Patton was appointed critic.

In petitions for membership, Mr. Childs warned the society about his dirty little secret -- he was formerly a civil engineer at Georgia Tech, but thankfully saw the error of his ways and came to UGA.

Mr. Ramsay also spoke of his appreciation of the University, in contrast to his experiences at Georgia Perimeter, also known as Georgia Pathetic. He saw an amazing number of great opportunities at UGA. Both were accepted into membership.

Ms. Bennewitz rose for the finance committee, told us about some allocations and when we needed to stay away from the hall, and her report was accepted. Mr. Rivner took the floor for the Judicial Council, discussing the results of meeting with Brickheapers about the intersociety debate. Mr. Goodhew reminded the society about a Faculty Advisor meeting Tuesday at 7 p.m. Ms. Moultrie also gave an advisor update, stating that Dr. Lindquist had expressed interest in the position.

In new business Mr. Morgan stated that the greatest danger to our generation is the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction. The U.S. is not filling its leadership role in stopping this. He presented,

Be it Resolved: The United States’ Senate should ratify the comprehensive Test Ban Treaty.

Respectfully,

Baxter Morgan

Megan Rhen

Isreal Cooper

Ms. Mikel cited the wisdom of the X-men, and pointed out that individual countries will not be willing to give up the symbolic power of their weapons.

Mr. Cureton said "A treaty is forever" and since we cannot predict the future of diplomacy it is in our best interests to reject it.

Mrs. Jelic, guest, thought the U.S. ought to make the positive statement of signing the treaty; we have doomed it by our rejection.

Mr. Cooper informed the audience that US senators just told the rest of the world that the U.S. does not feel safe without demonstrating its nuclear weapons.

Ms. Rhen believed that the failure of this treaty only highlights the weaknesses of the non-proliferation treaty, especially in regards to the privileges of P5 nations.

Ms. Johnson thought that if the U.S. showed scientists and other nations respect and trust by signing the treaty then it might work.

Mr. Pyrdum felt the Senate was right on and that this treaty would have little effect on the spread of nuclear weapons.

Mr. Rivner stated that this treaty would have no power, it is merely a feel good measure and a modern Kellogg-Briand pact.

Mr. Cohoon called the society’s attention to the horror of mass destruction and our fear of nuclear war; it would take a fraction of our stockpile to reign catastrophe.

Mr. Callahan defended the leadership of President Clinton and described the difficulty of lobbying Congress in the midst of impeachment.

The question was called, passing 6 to 3 among the guests and failing 9 to 10 among the membership.

Mr. Goodhew felt that through the affirmative action fray President Adams is seeking to increase his own visibility under the pretense of helping students; in reality he is threatening UGA’s reputation. He offered,

Be it resolved,

            The President of the University of Georgia should not take the good name of the University into his own hands by striving to win a lawsuit that he has been told he has a slim chance of winning. Be it further resolved, the secretary of the Demosthenian Literary Society shall write a letter to the President that the society feels this way.

Respectfully,

Karl Goodhew

Mr. Crouse spoke about the need for defiance, progress is only made by those who are willing to rebel against the old order.

Mr. Cureton agreed that Adams is after publicity, but the society should not overlook the fact that UGA’s case may win.

Ms. Mikel said that if the University backed down from the current suits, its actions would only invite more lawsuits.

Ms. Bennewitz informed us that like most other University presidents, Adams is a figurehead and simply a representative; look to the legal affairs staff to understand why he made his statement.

Ms. Frawley felt Adams’ actions were designed to garner positive publicity; she pointed out the current Student Index is really there to give alumni preferences.

Mr. Childs questioned the morality of affirmative action; there should be a level playing field in admissions.

Ms. Webb stated that there is not a level playing field; shocked at the lack of diversity, she felt that something must be done.

Mr. Cohoon pointed out that minorities have only been attending UGA for a few decades, the bonus points for alumni benefit white students; Adams’ policy is correct.

Mr. Callahan thought the resolution was not worth fighting for; life is not fair, and there is no level playing field.

Ms. Arnold, guest, examined the resolution from a graduate point of view; in her years, she had not felt a lack of culture; affirmative action is wrong.

The question was called, by a 10-2 vote was divided, and failed 0-6 among the guests. Both parts of the question failed 4 to 9 among the membership.

After many a motion, the floor was opened and Mr. Pyrdum took it. He told the society that he remembered times when everything was better; he also offered candy to those who could use cliches in their speeches. He presented,

Be it resolved, Things was better, back in the day.

Respectfully,

Carl S Pyrdum III

Mr. Rivner talked about his brother’s toys and stuff, urged us to not stop thinking about tomorrow, and earned quite a bit of candy.

Mr. Cohoon also talked about toys -- his tricycle and the durability of metal toys over plastic ones.

Ms. Arnold, guest, cited transformers and Smurfs as examples of when toys were better.

Mr. Childs mentioned that he cannot understand how today’s toys work, even though he went to Georgia Tech.

Ms. Mikel refuted previous speakers, stating that toys are great now and getting better.

Mr. Wells reminded us that he is so old that he remembers before Transformers, a show called "David and Goliath"

Mr. Callahan felt things were better back when we had better presidents and better TV shows.

Ms. Wilson got past her 80s fixation to embrace the 90s, and encouraged the society to do the same.

Mr. Crouse reflected that as we look back, everything looks better and greater.

Ms. Bauhan, guest, said that the past is past and we need to look to the future and its toys.

Mr. Cureton explained that decreased military spending make Coppola obsolete.

The question was called, passing 3 to 1 among the guests, and 14 to 3 among the members.

Mr. Goodhew rose to propose a constitutional amendment:
Be it Resolved,

            The Constitution of the Demosthenian Literary Society shall be amended in Article X, section 6, to read:

            "Secretaries shall preserve all papers they have accumulated during their term of office and turn them over properly sorted and neatly labeled in both hard copy and in an electronic format, passing on all necessary papers and electronic media to the archives at the end of their term."

Respectfully,

Karl Goodhew

The amendment was immediately tabled. The society adjourned at 10:58 p.m. subject to Mr. Patton’s critic’s report.

"A great treasure." The Demosthenians at the table were all deep in thought, a difficult task for most.

Big Louie Rivner thought he had the answer: hunch punch and loose sorority girls.

Ms. Mikel pictured an end to the oppressive patriarchy.

Callahan imagined a white woman; Kologinczak fantasized of speedo-clad Italian men.

Pyrdum dreamed of ewok after ewok, with their cute little spears.

Moultrie thought of a giant bong and a lifetime supply of pot.

On a similar note, Kravig envisioned a generous supply of the crack-rock that keeps her going.

Thinking again of the array of porn magazines waiting for him and obviously indicated by the map, Slone gave a rallying cry, "Astroglide!" He was met by silent stares. "Uh, I meant, Treasure!" and the crowd echoed his cry.

Respectfully submitted,

Kelly Frawley