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Minutes for the Demosthenian Meeting 23rd of March, 2000
How
our University works... An excerpt from the Book that describes the
beginning:
Today's reading is from the "Book of Academic Life", Chapter 1,
verses 1‑15.
In
the beginning was the Plan.
And
with the Plan were the Assumptions.
And
the Assumptions were without form.
And
the Plan was without substance.
And
darkness was upon the face of the faculty.
And
they spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of doo doo and it
stinks."
And
the faculty went unto their Chairs and said,"It is a bucket of dung
and we cannot live with the smell."
And
the Chairs went unto the Deans saying, "It is a container of organic
waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide it."
And
the Deans went unto their Associate Vice‑Provosts, saying, "It is a
vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength."
And
the Associate Vice‑Provosts spoke among themselves, saying, to one
another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very
strong."
And
the Associate Vice‑Provosts went to the Provost, saying, unto him,
"It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
And
the Provost went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan
will actively promote the growth and vigor of the university with
very powerful effects."
And
the President looked upon the Plan and deemed that it was good.
And
thus the Plan became Policy.
And
this is how doo doo happens.
The meeting was called to order with
2 first time guests present. Ms. Philips was declined membership
after a speech about Star Trek. Ms. Bennewitz gave a committee
report and we moved in and out of old business straight into new
business.
Mr.
Lemoine (guest) said that technology today is increasing. He
estimates that 20 years from now we will have true artificial
intelligence. He presented: Be it resolved that should AI reach
human level intelligence it be recognized as human. Respectfully
submitted, Blake Lemoine.
Mr.
Goodhew rose to explain how computers may seem to show intelligence,
but they are merely imitating humans. He tried to define what a
computer was as containing silicon and then later added that they
may also contain copper.
Mr.
Childs asked what human was. Intelligence, Flesh and blood, and
being alive. Will a computer ever be alive? No.
Ms.
Mikell defined intelligence. Humans are not always logical, but can
function properly. A computer doesn’t work like that.
Ms.
Kravig compared babies to computers as well as their differences.
Computers crash, so do people.
Mr.
Ramsay said that we are at the point where we can synthesize
anything, except for the human mind. There is a point where
computers exceed human intelligence.
Ms.
Boggs (guest) said that computers can’t reproduce as humans do.
Also, when new species are discovered they are named different
names. Don’t call them human just because they’re intelligent.
Mr.
Rivner took the floor to say Johnny 5 is ALIVE! The standard by
which we judge humans is not intelligence, and the resolution
justifies genocide.
Mr.
Morgan gave a short spiel from The Matrix and said that humans are
inherently flawed. Humans are virii and as AI is incapable of
failure AI will self-destruct.
Mr.
Kennedy (guest) said that humans may treat computers unequally and
there may be a computer revolution. We don’t have this problem
right now, and computers aren’t human.
Mr.
Pyrdum shared Binky’s experiences and said that intelligence levels
are difficult to discern. Extelligence is better than intelligence,
the stuff that happens outside the self.
Ms.
Arnold said that we can’t find this nebulous thing that makes humans
unique. Humanity is able to transcend the genetic programme, that
is computers will be able to mimic humans, but not be human.
Ms.
Dunham (guest) said that humans have the ability to create culture.
Would computers choose to be treated like humans though?
Mr.
Patton is tired of being human and is envious of anti-virus
software. He thinks the terminator is a good idea.
Mr.
Roca then spoke about Hal saying he has common sense, don’t go to
extreme measures.
The
question was called and failed 1 to 16.
Mr.
Goodhew then rose many minutes later to speak on Census 2000. He
presented: Given the transient nature of Athens’s student population
and the city government’s hostility toward students, it is
ridiculous for UGA students to be counted as residents of Athens in
Census 2000. Respectfully submitted, Karl Goodhew.
Ms.
Frawley said it makes little sense for students to deny 2/3 of the
year residency in ACC in favor of 1/3 of the year residency in
hometown. You should help out Clarke county if you use their
facilities.
Mr.
Crouse said that federal government cannot fine a person for not
filling out the Census form, just send a squad of interrogators to
make you speak. We use the most water in Athens, they should get
the money.
Mr.
Slone said that researchers use the data. This is especially true
with genealogists. Our answers may be very valuable to someone
someday.
Mr.
Callahan said that the conspiracy against the census is a
conspiracy. We should help out future generations of UGA students.
Mr.
Cohoon talked about the difficulties of dealing with single family
ordinance areas. ACC hasn’t given him anything, the city owes us.
The
question was called and failed 4 to 10.
We
then adjourned subject to _________ critic’s report.
With all the debate about little Elian Gonzalez in the air,
Demosthenian reporter Ms. Moultrie decided to ask Mr. Clinton, our
great President why he hasn’t really been involved with Elian’s
case. He replied, somewhat distraught, “Err.. well, last time I
told somebody where to put a Cuban I got into a lot of trouble”….
We’ll learn about the decision in the upcoming weeks. Ms. Moultrie
also uncovered a big scam that Mr. Slone has been trying to hide.
Soon, Mr. Slone may possibly be working for the Federal government
in Washington. He’s getting ready to reach into your wallets and
take your cash… in the form of TAXES! Be prepared!
Next week is oration/declamation, what should we expect to hear?
According to DLS President Rivner, an exciting range of speeches
ranging from the absurd to the movingly amazing emotional. He also
commented that anybody who signed up and didn’t actually do it would
be hung, drawn, and quartered medieval style by no other than Mr.
Pyrdum who needs to train in medieval ways. Did you know that the
word Lady comes from “To kneed dough”? Just thought I’d point that
out. Also some good news this week, Ms. Arnold found her bookbag.
Seems the thief didn’t like to knit though. 4 months of knitting
was still in the bag, right where it was originally. Be on the
lookout though for someone who has a key to the Pharmacy building,
it may just be him!
Respectfully submitted this amazing cold day 30th of
March, a mere 2000 years after the son of God was born in some barn
in Bethlehem when his parents were going to fill out that evil
census,
Karl Goodhew |
University of Georgia 