Minutes of the DLS: February 6, 2003

So this week has been busy. Not really because I was doing anything specifically. Mr. Smith and I were forced to endure nearly two hours of a little movie made by Lymefreaks…er…British folks…celebrating the 50^th year of the reign of their money swallowing, tea swilling monarch. It wasn’t so bad. It’s nice to laugh at someone who has so much more money than you can dream of. But I guess that’s how it works when you steal money from people. I’m glad we live in America.

Speaking of laughing at people, I saw Bobby walking to class the other day. He doesn’t know that I sometimes catch a glimpse of him from the bus as he walks to North Campus. As usual, he looked like the loser/pansy that he is, but I guess if he weren’t those things, he wouldn’t be my….hehe…expletive deleted…with Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I really can’t afford a fine!

Well, we had five first time guests and seven repeat customers, including Saxon, who was dressed as well as usual and didn’t inch from the back window.

Ms. Parker was appointed critic and then we welcomed Ms. Knight into the society. It’s nice to have new blood around here. We were running out of people to lie to.

In committee reports, Mr. Lerner managed to take his face out of the mirror for 30 seconds in order to tells us that we need to pay for the Trumps dinner still.

Ms. Ramsay told us to pay our dues. Man, I miss the days when President Graham and Treasurer Patton "asked" me to "chat" with the people who hadn’t paid their dues. Do you guys remember Daniel Mammola? Yeah, I didn’t think so!

In new business, Mr. Lerner told us about Dr. Melissa Carter, who recently passed away. In her memory, we will host a program on peace in Israel. He presented

Ms. Webb suggested that we write a letter to Dr. Carter’s family and invite them to attend our program, as the society meant a lot to Dr. Carter.

The resolution was passed unanimously.

Ms. Webb rose again, only because she lacks to ability to sit, and presented

Mr. Lewis said that Ms. Webb was wrong and that there are many benefits to our space program.

Mr. Lerner rose and said that nearby Emory University was doing cancer research in space. Many other things, such as pacemakers and microwaves were invented because of space exploration.

Mr. Moulds said that NASA just needs a new goal.

Ms. Hines spoke on missile defense or something like that…I think…

Mr. Smith informed anyone that wasn’t aware that we all wanted to be astronauts while growing up.

Mr. Addison said that space exploration is for tomorrow, not for today.

Mr. Pitts said that space exploration gave us true heroes to praise, as opposed to athletes

Mr. Grosse spoke against a point of Ms. Hines’ which referred to EMP’s, something I know about because I’ve seen GoldenEye like 50 times!

Ms. Parker said that Huntsville is a TrailerPark silicon valley, thus providing us with what I consider the best line of the night

Mr. Miller suggested privatizing the space program

Mr. Guest said that privatizing is the ending of the federal space program

The resolution failed 5-16

Mr. Addison rose and presented a resolution on Iraq. It was bound to happen, folks, and so he presented

Ms. Copley rose and said that Iraq needs weapons to protect itself.

Mr. Cull said that definitive proof has not been presented.

Ms. Skrmetti told us about Kurds dying in Northern Iraq and that we will lose more lives by sending people in than by leaving them out.

Mr. Flanagan, in a rare speaking appearance, asked us what we would do after the war was over? What then, he asked, What then?!

Mr. Moulds said that Bush is simply trying to create a legacy. What about North Korea? He said we are not prepared to fight in an urban arena.

Mr. Lewis said that Iraq has been given a chance to disarm and that the "LEFT" (crash of thunder, bolt of lightening) keeps placing hurdles in front of Bush in order to derail him. How’s that for a mixed-metaphor?

Mr. Lerner said that Iraq has proved nothing. If our foreign policy is to be respected, we must stand by our policies.

Mr. Guest opposed the resolution and said we should use diplomacy.

Another guest spoke and said that Iraq is a danger and said that the UN itself is on trial here.

Mr. Pitts spoke and said that he agrees with much of what Mr. Lewis said, but that things aren’t so black an white. While something should be done about Hussein, whose name I’ve misspelled, what are we going to do in Iraq after?

Mr. Miller said that there are times for peace and times for war and that now is a time for war.

Ms. Webb asked why we’re ready for war with Iraq, while we’re prepared for peace with the more dangerous North Korea.

Mr. Peery said "War is bad, mmmk?" and that cowardice leads to war.

Mr. Guest, not the one from before, spoke and said that he is against war because of the problems it leads to.

Ms. Mendoza, an alumna, said that there is no time limit on peace and asked if we really had to take military action.

The Toddster rose again and asked: If not us, who? If not now, when?

Mr. Miller, too, rose again said that North Korea is a bigger risk and that war exists in chaos. Iraq’s neighbors are not as progressive as N.K.’s

Among the members, the resolution failed 7-9 with Ms. Winchell and Mr. Smith abstaining.

Among the guests, the resolution failed 5-6.

Now, I should warn you that I am only going on with the minutes at this point out of a sense of duty, not because I want to. Also, Ms. Skrmetti took notes, not me because I, stupidly and tiredly presented:

My speech was, at best, craptastic, or perhaps, craptacular.

Mr. Lerner rose in support, which is good, considering his name is on the resolution. He, admittedly, presented the funnier resolution.

Ms. Parker suggested the females out there try coffee. She has missed the point entirely.

Ms. Webb, in her usual string of confusion, rose and informed those of you that aren’t already aware, that I, Amish Trivedi, am, in fact an idiot.

Mr. Peery called the question and with the exception of Ms. Ballou, who will forever be my favorite Demosthenian, other than "Hot Lips" Wesley, the women all abstained and the rest of us passed the resolution 4-1.

I don’t care what you say, it still passed, and yes, I take up Mr. Lerner’s trumpet with FENCE STRADDLERS GO HOME.

Well, this has been long enough, no?

Respectfully Submitted,

Amish "Spanky" Trivedi