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Minutes February 13, 2003:
So I went and picked up my tux yesterday.
Yeah. My tux for the little shin-dig tomorrow night. And might I
say, I look FINE. Not just fine, DAMN YANKEE FINE.
Also, last night, I was apart of the coalition
that cleaned the hall under Field Marshall Lewis. It was fun.
Well, getting high off the fumes was fun but where was the inflated
sense of self? No where to be seen.
Anyways, so we had three first time guests and
three returning guests. Ms. Mendoza also came in.
After Mr. Pitts was appointed critic for the
evening, we inducted four new members: Mr. Theiss, Mr. Edgerton,
Ms. D’Andrea, and Ms. Duncan.
You know what’s odd is that all four of them
were here last night, cleaning the hall. That’s right. Four new
members who haven’t even gotten around to loving this society as so
many of you claim you do, and they were here last night cleaning
with the rest of us.
Mr. Lewis has a list of people who were here
working hard, those who were excused, and those who were plain no
where! I’m waiting for it, ya know I am!
In committee reports, Webster told us to bring
food. It’s Saturday folks. Talk to Mary because otherwise she’s
gonna complain and she’ll go on and on and on….
Mr. Lerner said something, but all I have is a
dash in my notes. I’m not going to bother with what he said, as
we’re going to hear an update soon, I’m sure!
Ms. Ramsay presented a finance committee report
and it was accepted. Sadly, we have yet to allocate money for the
bench to buy pants.
In new business, The Webinator rose again and
told us about all the illegal immigrants in California and how the
cost the state $2 billion. She presented:
BIR the states of the
U.S. should no longer provide public education to illegal
immigrants. Res Sub Mary Webb
Mr. Lewis supported the resolution saying that
we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to illegal immigration.
Mr. Kennedy said that with the $2 billion, we
ought to send the illegal immigrants to military school and put them
in our military and make them citizens so they can fight.
Mr. Lerner suggested building a system that
would help the most people because education helps people become
better citizens.
Mr. Gallagher rose with his usual economic
stuff. He said public schools are overfunded and that we should try
to educate illegal immigrants.
Ms. Knight asked what non-educated children
would do. She suggested the idea that they might turn to violence
instead.
Mr. Flanagan, in an unheard of two week in a
row appearance said we should stop illegal immigration with our
army. He also suggested helping the economies of those places where
we get a lot of immigrants from.
Mr. Cull, another econo-geek said that we
should give illegal immigrants who pay their property taxes the
right to send their kids to school because schools are funded by
property taxes.
Mr. Theiss said we should not allow illegal
immigration
Ms. Ballou spoke against the resolution saying
we should find a way to allow kids into school legally.
Mr. Miller said we should go back to a proper
immigration policy like we had back in the past.
The resolution failed 3-18
Mr. Lerner presented a lot of resolutions in a
row, each of which was shot down by the ever ready Todd Lewis, with
a constitution in one hand and a clenched fist.
First, Mr. Wesley then was forced to present
BIR There shall be an
additional regular meeting of the DLS Saturday the 22nd
of February in keeping with the constitutional requirement of having
an All Night Meeting on the Saturday closest to the 19th
February. Res Sub Robert V. Wesley
It passed 24-1 with Mr. Patton wussing out
Mr. Lerner presented
BIR A draft of a
resolution will be written for presentation to the Georgia State
Senate to pass commending the DLS on its Bicentenial. This will be
written and sent to Mr. Memberg by Sunday evening the 16th
of February. Res Sub Matt Lerner
That passed 26-1 with Mr. Kennedy being,
frankly, a bit of a jerk.
Then all hell broke lose.
Mr. Lerner presented a resolution asking for
the room, formerly known as the President’s office, to be known now
as the Dr. Cal Logue Rhetoric Library. Also, there shall be a
formal dedication this Saturday, the 22nd of February.
Mr. Lewis asked why on Earth we were doing this
and so…
Ms. Webb answered Mr. Lewis’ pleas saying that
Dr. Logue is the man who donated most of the books in the new
library from his personal collection and said that he also
contributed much to the society.
Mr. Miller said that when he joined the society
many moons ago that Dr. Logue was still a known figure and that the
society truly meant a lot to him.
Mr. Kennedy said plaques aren’t so bad.
The resolution passed 14-8
Mr. Grosse rose and said we should lower the
drinking age to 16.
Mr. Cull said the resolution was insane.
I, known to Mr. Theiss as “Secretary”, which I
suppose is better than “Fat guy in suit and sweater vest”, said the
18 is a good age since you can die for your country and vote!
Mr. Addison said anyone can get alcohol
(chortle) and that the law is only good if it’s enforced anyways.
Mr. Miller said there are so many things we can
do at 16 that we should be able to drink at 16 with parental
supervision.
Mr. Lewis rose and said parents aren’t fun to
drink with and that binge drinking is fun. There’s a list of stuff
here, but I couldn’t read Mr. Theiss’ handwriting, so I’m not
trying.
Mr. Gallagher said that after 21 drinking isn’t
as much fun, so why bother lowering the age?
Smity-D said that he’s looking forward to his
21st, and my friend, so am I!
Mr. Patton said that no one who voted against
the resolution would be served alcohol that night.
I have no idea what the count was, and I have
no idea what happened as I was downstairs most of the time utilizing
the bathroom. Well, not the whole time, just enough that I didn’t
bother to come back!
Mr. Cull rose and presented charges for
impeachment against our tax-cheat spend-o-crat, illiterate President
Wesley. I had one more charge for Mr. Cull to add to his list: Mr.
Cull, it must be a crime for this man to be naked from the waist
down! Come on! Mr. Smith and I are dying up here….Mainly for
laughter, but still!
Now, I’m not going to continue with the minutes
at this point because we all went crazy and I just don’t care to
rehash the collective insanity of those in this room. Let’s just
say, for those of you who heard me, that I was DEAD SERIOUS when I
motioned to have myself thrown out of the upper chamber. For the
first time in my time here, I really wanted to be somewhere else.
Anyways, enough gripping.
Respectfully submitted,
Amish Trivedi |
University of Georgia 