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Minutes of the last meeting of the Spring 2003 semester
At this, the first meeting of the 2003-2004 school year, I
am taking it upon myself to remind the society or the sacrifices
that the elected offices demand, especially that of the secretary,
and the respect that is therefore due to those who serve the
society on the bench. Now, some dissidents may say, “but Rachel,
you’re sitting and taking notes, how hard can it be?” But there
is far more to being secretary than what you see on the surface,
and as an objective example of the work involved, I offer my
own account of the composing of these minutes.
At 10:00 this morning, I forced myself, bleary eyed, from my
bed after a mere 9 hours of sleep, driven by my love of Demosthenian
to fulfill my duty as secretary and compose these minutes. After
a quick two hour trip to Waffle House, I returned to my cloistered
room and set feverishly to work. Soon, my roommate knocked,
asking if I could do the dishes I’d been putting off for the
past week. “Alas!” I said, “I cannot do it! I dare not rise
until my work for the society is done. What are dishes in the
struggle for free speech? Do not bother me with such trivia!”
With redoubled effort, I returned to scribbling on the old paper
towel I’d found in my desk in between long meditations on the
Simpson’s Season 3 DVD for inspiration. Can you understand the
suffering I endured?
Later, in Nutritional Anthropology, I explained to my professor
that the reason I had not done the reading was because of deep
concentration I needed for my services as secretary. I also
went on to explain that I probably would never do the readings
for Thursday because of my central role in the society, and
I would need extensions on all my papers because of the delicate
nature of my work for Demosthenian. I explained that these sacrifices
were not for myself, but for the noble posterity who would read
these minutes long after my Anthropology papers had been forgotten.
Can you feel the depth of my commitment?
Finally, as the time grew nigh for the meeting itself, I was
forced, FORCED, to put off paying bills, cleaning my bathroom,
vacuuming, calling my mother, and writing a 3 page essay on
my opinions of Asian American Literature, all for Demosthenian.
And now, as I prepare to doodle and pass notes to Amish and
Bram for the next 4 or so hours, I ask that you remember what
I have given up for this position, what I sacrifice for this
office, and give me the respect and worshipful servitude that
I so deeply deserve.
And now the fruit of my many hours, the minutes:
It was the last meeting of the semester, a lot of people left
and it was sad. They will all be deeply missed. I misplaced
my list, so I’ll add in the actual names later. Keys were given,
and there were many fond farewells. I’m sure that all of our
former members are making their way in the world with great
finesse. I also mispronounced a lot of people’s names. Sorry
for the vagueness, I promise that the minutes I write for this
meeting will be better.
Hope you enjoyed the minutes,
Respectfully submitted, etc.
Rachel Aaron
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University of Georgia 