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Minutes for 10.2.03
Some of you may remember how last week I mentioned that the
illiterates across the way were skipping the very Oxford debate
meetings they had weaseled and whined their way into.
This week I got to wondering, they do nothing over there, heck,
they do nothing in life, how can they possibly be that busy?
So, packing up my spy equipment and slipping across the darkened
quad, I set off to find out.
First, I was going to pick the lock, but then I found their
president doing the same thing so they could have their meeting.
Too bad they suck so much. He was so excited to see a guest
that he didn’t even care that I was dressed like a ninja and
trying to run away. They tied me up and showed me some of their
interpretive dance, I only survived by gnawing off my own leg.
They let me go eventually, it was time for their bathroom break
and they were off to the library like the homeless hangers on
that they are. Taking advantage of the confusion, I stole the
black briefcase marked Oxford. This is what I found…
“I stand on the edge, the border,
neither in the room, nor barred from it,
the door is open before me,
a wall against my soul.
Should I pass through it?
This inviting yet unknown portal,
gaping like a jester at my laments,
indecision traps me and roots my will,
its black folds wrap me like satin.
A comfortable prison.
As I clutch the rose of my heart,
I wonder if it is red and lovely,
Even when I know it is black.
All things are black in the darkness.”
I should have known, they threw it all aside for their bad
poetry! After I was finished gagging, I dashed back to the hall
to report to the president what I had found. However, I failed
to take into account that no one really cares what the Brickheads
are doing. So, with nothing else to do with my report, I put
it in the minutes so that we can finally know what they are
too busy doing to show up at meetings. Now all we have to work
on is caring.
The meeting of October 10th, 2003 got off to a nice start
with the induction of 3 new members, Mr. Keenan, Mr.
Ballard, and Mr. Martinson. We are still glad to have you.
Then, things went rapidly downhill with the un-tabling of
Mr. Theiss’s “Damn Yankee” Amendment: “BiR:
The last clause
of section 12 of Article XIX (19) of the constitution of the
DLS that reads “The words ‘Damn Yankee,’ when used together
shall not be considered profanity” shall be removed.” R.S.
John Henry Theiss.
Mr. Miller disagreed, stating that by removing the one perjorative
we have, people would curse more, not less, because there is
no outlet.
Mr. Moulds, himself a Damn Yankee reminds us that it’s just
a joke, but there are many historical reasons for Southerners
to Damn the Yankees because of the oppression of Reconstruction.
Ms. Prabhakar said that slavery is now seen as the center of
the Civil War and by only allowing this one phrase we are sending
a powerful message about what our society stands for, and that
is not a representation we should welcome.
Ms. Kravig countered that there are more KKK members in Illinois
than there are anywhere in the south. It is a horrible thing
to get rid of our traditions because of something that would
have offended someone 50 years ago.
Mr. Addison declared that what is more offensive than Damn
Yankee could ever be is members speaking badly at the podium.
Damn Yankee helps our speaking.
Mr. Elliot says he burst out laughing when he saw this on the
membership test. Anyone offended by Damn Yankee is a Damn Yankee.
Mr. Gallagher, in a fit of culture, was fined for quoting Gone
With the Wind, but went on to say that that race is not the
issue, most of us are Yankees, and that’s why it’s funny. We
shouldn’t flippantly change the constitution, it is our center
as a society.
Mr. Ansley, a guest, welcomes Damn Yankee as a relief from
the homogenized mass media language that he sees everywhere
else. He also said “Son of a Biscuit” which is the best thing
ever.
Mr. Gurley, a guest, says that he also comes here to find nonwatered
down speaking, it’s insane to get this worked up over such a
little point.
Ms. Hines insisted that Damn Yankee is not a correct mode of
speech, the cultivation of which is the center of our constitution,
and so if we allow Damn Yankee, we should allow all other words
as well.
Mr. Ballard offered us a new member opinion that the end of
hatred comes not through omission, but through reconciliation.
Also, anyone who’s read the constitution knows this isn’t serious.
Mr. Hanson said that Damn Yankee is obviously not offensive,
and we are here for oratory, not for courtroom talk.
Mr. Miller returned to the podium to speak to 2 people, but
only Ms. Hines was available, so he spoke to her saying that
you can cultivate a correct mode of speaking by using incorrect
modes.
After a few attempts, due to Ms. Steinburg falling asleep and
not voting, the motion failed 12-2 and I for one am very glad
that it did. These minutes would have been unreadable otherwise.
Mr. Theiss then increased his stranglehold on the podium by
presenting “A minimum SAT score of 1000 should be added
to the requirements for the HOPE scholarship.” Making last
Thursday “Theiss Night.”
Ms. Bell gave one of her rare but wonderful speeches, claiming
that one way to help HOPE is to repeal the text book tax, the
State’s primary method of putting Lotto money back in the State’s
coffers.
Ms. Sam Keyes-Blumer (guest) said that the SAT is the worst
indicator because it doesn’t test you on what you have learned
and is not a good representation of college performance.
Mr. Moulds thought the best thing to do would be to standardize
High Schools, not tests. Also, the Gambling system will fold
in on itself as people become more educated.
Mr. Addison was in support of the resolution. The SAT is a
flat test and the economic benefits from keeping educated people
in the state will more then make up for what is paid out in
scholarships. He was also fined for attacking Mr. Moulds.
Ms. Aaron pointed out that the SAT is in no way a flat test,
it is skewed toward the white middle class culture and discriminates
against race and income levels. She also pointed out that Mr.
Theiss isn’t getting any, and I seem to be doing that a lot
lately, but that’s probably because I enjoy stating the obvious.
God, also known as Mr. Trivedi, descended from on high with
angel choruses to tell us that poor people play the lottery
because there is no way out of poverty and by requiring an SAT
score we would be excluding people who were already in danger
of being excluded from HOPE.
Ms. Skrmetti attacked Ms. Aaron’s statements about rural schools,
saying it is not fair to say that all rural schools are bad.
Also she says that HOPE is not preventing the brain drain because
she, and many others, are leaving Georgia after college.
Mr. Misztal said that it’s not just HOPE that’s in need, and
we should fund other educational programs as well.
Mr. Martinson thinks that there are other tests besides the
SAT that should be used to decide HOPE, not the SAT alone.
Mr. Wesley brought home the fury, he was angry because the
SAT requirement makes HOPE even more exclusive. You make a better
Georgia by starting at the bottom.
The question was called and failed among members 3-14, among
guests it was foiled 1-2. Mr. Miller did not vote because Gambling
is illegal. Then, Amish set us free after Ms. Skrmetti’s lovely
critics report.
Call me Angeal Lansbury, that’s all I wrote.
Ciao,
Rachel Aaron |
University of Georgia 