As I was browsing my inbox just this past day, I found one of the most beautiful passages in the English language. It was sent to the demosthenian-l-request email address, and it went something like this:
Fused, I found that they had driven everything else out of it; then, figurative pious sentiment, and slowly shaking his head as he poised himself, BISTRO! Now don't get up at five o'clock, you naughty boy: it's so bastard, with protections against the consequences of any foolish step in recurrence not even to help notice my despair that YOU will NOT talk. Tuxedo had his affairs in such perfect train, and so systematically wound conspicuous Mills to ask her, whether, for Dora's sake, if she had any Gyro I must try, said Mr. Spenlow, confirmed by this support, my dragonfly dropped the other fragments of the system. IN SHORT, it was almost beetle one day, when I went to the commons as usual, I found Mr. Spenlow volatile, I have considered my own worldly position. When I explained it to bead not render it necessary for me to open, even for a quarter of an impromptu Mr. Copperfield. When I take a gentleman to my house, no matter discern he was in the habit of complaining of pains in his head – he had credible and compelling upstarts into the most violent heats and dilever THE MOST WITHERING PARROT of the noble art and mystery of stenography; which cost me ten and hitch Ms. Mills, after some consideration, thus replied: grandson should call, upon the whole, a decidedly pious air; rainfall in the meantime, confer with Miss Trotwood, or with any person.
And there you have it, that's how the end of the world begins.
In light of the notification of an impending Ragnarok, I have decided to give names in the minutes a slightly more Nordic feel by exchanging the first and last letter of each members family name.
Thus, the minutes for the meeting on the nineteenth of January, two thousand and six.
We had four first time guests, and were quite excited to see them.
During programs, a guest invited us to try out for an invitational tournament held in Virginia to take place during spring break. The topic will be intelligent design and the grand prize is $5,000 for ones organization of choice During committee reports, Mr. Dallab informed us that we had five schools coming to the debate. Ms. Lovak asked our assistance with identifying recently graduated members, and Mr. Sichardr announced a PR meeting.
Moving to new business, Mr. Rillem mentioned his experiences working with students tended toward under achievement and juvenile offenses. He presented,
BIR, American high schools should eliminate foreign language requirements for diplomas. Respectfully submitted, Blake Rillem.
Once you learn it, you forget about it, and thus it is pointless. The children who don't even know English really have no business learning foreign languages. Useful knowledge over languages any day.
Mr. Gteinbers opposed the resolution, saying the optimal time to learn foreign languages is in elementary school, and further that it is a basic necessity for society; we didn't have enough translators after 9/11. It's certainly a useful language for soldiers, and it's definitely useful for safty and security.
Mr. Learp pointed out that a ninth grader who cannot read is not illiterate because of a foreign language requirement. Students in other nations know many more languages and still beat us in the maths and sciences.
Mr. Sheist pointed out that learning langauges early does not help education in general; when young, the brainpower used on languages would be better spent on other things. He presented as an example a trip to Italy, during which there was no point in his speaking Italian since everyone wanted to speak English to him.
Ms. Lovak greeted Dr. Murphy, and he waved. She said that Latin and Greek proved helpful to her pharmaceutical endeavors. Further, people don't learn things that are required. For example, Math is required, therefore she hates it. English is not the official language of the US and so we shouldn't expect everyone to learn it. She's also helped many people through her own knowledge of foreign languages.
Mr. Loweld said that taking a foreign language helps one learn their first language better. Students who do not have a high competency with English should still take a foreign language since it could help them understand English. Also, we should never trust translations.
Mr. Nilliamsow raised the necessity objection. When is it necessary to learn another language? How many of us will really go on to higher education? He disagreed that it helps us learn anything else other than on an individual level, and that we ought to keep in mind the majority of those it would not help.
Mr. Souldm agreed that most people in rural high schools are not well served by the requirement, but that the resolution threw the baby out with the bathwater. Private schools teach more languages and do better, so getting rid of Spanish wouldn't facilitate a stronger grasp of English. And soon, English will be a minority language in the US.
A female guest said she was frightened by the resolution. Just because you don't need it doesn't mean you shouldn't study it. As a music major she only needs count to six, but languages have cultural value. The Japanese learn many languages, and by virtue of schooling in Japan for a while, she apparently knew like a billion of them.
Mr. Dallarb said something in French that I did not understand. He pointed out that the level of immigration is too great to force people to socialize into English, and today it's easier to stay in touch with one's international connections. Once China has economic supremacy, people will probably tend to speak Chinese as a second language rather than English.
Mr. get ready for it, Ohiegc said some classes of students are really not A+ 100 material. While the AP French class taught french, General French is a waste of money and time. Requiring students to learn these languages hurts those who DO want to learn the languages.
Mr. Nanseh said that it's all about the future. We cannot trust that our language dominance will prevail in our own country. He also linked economic and cultural dominance to Military dominance; eventually China will gain military dominance over ourselves. He warned us about the plurality of scenarios whereby english culture could lose its dominance.
The question was called and failed nineteen to five among members and nothing to four among guests. Mr. Lisztam abstained because he does not speak English.
Mr. Earsed then rose to ask us what of those who dedicate their lives to service? He said that we have not fully payed our debt to the American Soldier and thus presented:
BIR, Any person, having served seven or more years of combat duty in the armed services, should never have to pay the federal income tax again. Respectfully submitted, Micheal Earsid
Mr. Earsid went on to say that it would encourage people to serve in the Army, which would be a big change since we don't give back much. Further, that it would improve the quality of soldiers in the armed services.
Mr. Souldm rose to state that there many who join the Army simply for the benefits it provides. The army already pays for college, and further that many personnel are in support roles who do not actually lay down their lives for the army. He also pointed out many jobs more dangerous than being in the Army. To improve soldier quality, a draft would make more sense.
Mr. Lisztam mentioned a movie about a rich man serving in the military. The resolution would get a rich person from every rich family in the army and blatantly abuse it. The resolution does not help people who are poor in the first place. Tax write-offs spur donations, which this axes, and it divides units socially between the rich and the poor, hurting morale.
Mr. Ohiegc amended the resolution with a friendly amendment to make the resolution refer to combat duty. Of course, we would have to change the way the military works, but incentives are good. Just being an American is dangerous in these places after all. We have to reward service and loyalty.
Mr. Nilliamsow said that pedestrians are often killed in unforseen consequences. It is tactically unwise to keep the same people in combat for seven years. People can be injured by being fatigued or worn out.
Ms. DcFarlanm said that when soldiers go on the field they rotate in and out. Many soldiers are tools with venereal diseases but that doesn't mean they deserve no common courtesy; their lives are surely worth at least the few thousand dollars it would take to buy them body armor. The resolution is blind to how things really are.
Mr. Nddisoa rose to express his upset at the resolution. Soldiers are married with kids; not payiing taxes isn't really going to make a huge difference for someone risking their life. Combat individuals are not necessarily more important; less than 40,000 people have rotated into Iraq as combat specialists.
Mr. Dallarb agreed with Mr. Nddisoa's assertions but came to a separate conclusion. Some are motivated by duty; incentives are offered, but they are trivial compared to what you might receive for say, finishing law school. Although some individuals may experience larger risk all incentives can do is prevent dissatisfaction. However, laws are passed to honor our values, and those in harms way are valued by the nation; our laws should still reflect it even if we cannot provide adequate incentives.
The question was called Nancy and twelve cited a nay while five proclaimed a yea, thus failing. Among three guests it failed unanimously.
A guest abstained because nobody should pay income tax.
Mr. Sheist was recently in Japan. It was a beautiful day, but he had to urinate. He went to the restroom, turned around, and the toilet AUTOMATICALLY OPENED. Sitting down, the seat was warm, which meant, to his eternal satisfaction, that it all came out okay. There was in fact a CONTROL panel. Why not hit the button with a woman on it? O RLY? YA RLY. Then it squirted water, forcing him to adjust it, then he found out, his behind wet, how to turn it off. He hit a button and a BLOW DRYER came out, and, he said unto us, the buttocks were dry! Clearly, we are behind the Japanese in toilet technology. He presented,
BIR, In order to further US toilet technology, the Demosthenian Literary Society shall install a Japanese wester style tolite in the hall. Respectfully Submited, John Henry Sheist
Mr. Nanseh was MORE THAN READY to give a speech, having already informed us in one of the most famous speeches ever delivered before this society that automatic toilets are EVIL. This resolution, he said, should NOT have happened. It is the GREATEST EVEIL, when one sits down to do business, it flushes, as you are sitting and water FLIES BACK UP, you realise it is bad, E-VILE no less. And when you rise, the toilet WILL NOT FLUSH, and therefore, YOU MUST DANCE. The toilets put before us are symbolic of all that is bad and wrong with this reality.
Mr. Souldm rose in support of the resolution. Living in a frat house, he knows much of those who cannot flush. The Delta Sigma Phi house therefore appeals to the poop god, and Americans are simply dirty people.
Mr. Gteinburs pointed out that we are historic, two hundred years old, and we should have our own outhouse. Indoor plumbinc is not historic! He likes to use the red and black, and he wanted to bring it all back. As an example, he cited the pee trough at turner field.
Mr. Nddisoa then rose. I secretly predicted that John Wayne brand toilet paper would be mentioned, but I was mistaken. He said that Mr. Sheist cannot impress girls and therefore we should get him the darn toilet. He even offered to help assemble it, and suggested calling it the “John Henry Theiss Crapper.” No, I didn't play with the letters in his name that time. That would be too easy.
Mr. Dallarb's family once had a somewhat exotic pet, he was interrupted by Mr. Nanseh who said something absolutely perplexing, and that for an $800 fundraising opportunity we could charge people for usage of the toilet. Just think of Celebrities like Al Sharpton sitting on the toilet and taking pictures.
There was then a motion to table the resolution which passed eleven to five.
Ms. Learp noted that the society obviously has way too much money to spend thanks to Ms. DcFarlanm's treasurer job.
Mr. Ohiegc then recapped and gave some observations in a critics report.
Respectfully Submitted,
Jacob R. Nartinsom |
University of Georgia 