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Questioning the
knowledge she had gained from her short trip under the Hall, Becky
got up from the couch and greeted the flatulent men in her
presence. Mike made his usual crass comment to her, and she
promptly employed her knowledge of self-defense to drop him abruptly
to the floor. Things are getting to be so routine around here, she
thought, as she watched a smile grow on Mr. Shumaker's face, and
something else grow as well. He gets way too much of a charge out
of that, Becky thought to herself. But hey, what's my job here but
to --
HEY! What is my
job here? I'm not going to get sucked into this mundane,
story-telling crap that the previous Secretary made us endure. No,
sir -- you elected me, and now you're in for it. I would advise all
of you to begin to wear raincoats to the meetings, if not full suits
of armor, 'cause baby, it's about to start pourin'! You all
thought, aw, what a nice Cinderella motif we have here: our cleaning
lady rises to the bench next to her Prince Char-- well, I wouldn't
go that far, but you get my point. Well, you got your wish! But
now, your lady of the dustbin has free reign to make all those
little secrets whispered to me at 4 in the morning over the past
year or so work to MY advantage. Mr. Hodgins' personal psychology
sessions have now been changed to 7 o'clock on Thursdays, and Mr.
Carswell will have to think twice before he turns his sly grin and
sorry flirtations my way. Truth is MUCH more entertaining than
fiction, and hey, what's my job here but to --
The meeting was
called to order at 7:38. The minutes of the previous meeting were
read and approved with minor changes. There was one first-time
guest and no second- or third-time guests. Mr. Hodgins was
appointed critic and the Society moved into Petitions for
Membership.
Mr. Guy
gave a history of the impact of media on elections, beginning when
reporters realized that the ignorance of the public gave them the
power to sway millions of votes. He called on the mass media to be
more responsible in its reporting of the issues and candidate by
giving both sides of the story, rather than the one the media thinks
is right.
Mr. Weaver
remarked about his knack for repetitioning for membership at just
the wrong times, but asked the Society to accept him back anyway.
He identified himself as a misanthrope, a rambler, and sometimes
humorous, but emphasized that he has grown up.
Both candidates
were accepted into membership.
The Society then
entered into Special Elections and the order of business was altered
to allow the Office of Faculty Advisor to come first. Dr. Parkes
was nominated and elected.
In the election
for President, Mr. Stuart and Mr. Pyrdum were
nominated and Mr. Stuart was elected.
For Vice
President, Mr. Choi and Mr. Hodgins were nominated,
and the Society elected Mr. Choi.
In the race for
Judicial Council, Mr. Bowman, Mr. Shumaker, and Mr.
Hodgins were nominated and elected by acclimation. Mr.
Bowman was selected as Chief Justice.
For Secretary, the
Society nominated Ms. Tomlinson, Ms. Richie, Mr. Hudson, and
Mr. Pyrdum. In a runoff between herself and Mr. Hudson,
Ms. Richie was elected.
Mr. Pyrdum
was nominated and elected by acclimation to the office of Librarian.
As the sole
nominee for the office of Custodian, Mr. Smith was elected by
acclimation.
For the office of
Sergeant-at-Arms, Ms. Tomlinson and Mr. Gable were
nominated and Mr. Gable was elected.
The new officers
were sworn in by our befallen leader and the motion was made to
adjourn. Following Mr. Hodgins' appropriately brief critic's
report, the Society adjourned at 12:03.
Like I was saying
when I was so rudely interrupted by the debate, the reason
that...wait, we DEBATE here? I never knew that. Hm! This is
opening up a whole new world to me. So, that podium there, it's
where you speak from, I guess? I just thought it was a fun thing to
clean with Pine-Sol. Those curved edges are the best -- Jenny and I
used to spend extra time on them, but she seemed to get some sort of
erotic fulfillment from it.... And this bench -- oh, you're the guy
who RUNS the debate? I just thought you did your homework up here
-- that's what I always do. Wow, this is really interesting -- it's
all coming together for me. So I'm a member -- no, an OFFICER, of a
debate society?! How'd I get wrapped up in this? Well, even so,
I'm the one with the poison pen, and I don't need no debate to make
y'all's lives miserable. Sooooo -- Let's GEEET READY to
RUUUMBLLLE!!
Respectfully
submitted on this 21st day of November, 1996
Ryan J. Van Meter,
authoring Secretary
Rebecca Richie,
presenting Secretary
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University of Georgia 