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The Minutes of The Demosthenian Literary
Society
November 13th, 1997
Hi! I'm Donna, and I'm you're new
Secretary. After holding the grueling position of Rush Chairperson
last quarter, I decided to take it easy this quarter, and just make
fun of people, smiling all the way. I mean really, how much effort
could it really take for a person like me to make fun of people like
you anyway? Ya'll can't even run 7 miles in two hours like I
can...Ya'll are just weak.
Anyway, this whole thing will be this
real good thing because when I am this whole Secretary person, all
of those rules of English that are always so bothersome for a real
creative person like me...My writing is an art-form that I want
people to appreciate every day, all the time...That's why I became a
Journalism major. These people know their stuff...No messin' around
or nothin'...They never even extend a deadline for little ol' me...
This sorta takes me (or does it bring
me?) to my next point: after being so viciously slandered in the
Minutes from the previous meeting, it is obviously time for one
"little guy" to pay...And pay he will. The visions that I have
dancin' through my mind are even better than when he was on that
coffee table...MMM MMM Good...Just like Campbell's Soup. Oh yeah,
it'll be me getting that dollar by the end of the quarter in my
pants...Hopefully, inflationary pressures will have increased by
then so that I will be able to keep up with him, and get FIVE WHOLE
DOLLARS shoved into my pants...Now that would be just delicate.
The meeting was called to order at
7:25 PM, and no guests were present. Mr. Wells, the alum that even
I cannot find a way to run away from, was present as always, and Mr.
Bowman was appointed Critic for the evening.
Mr. Pratt petitioned the Society for
membership, and told of his heritage, and its tie to all kinds of
military school related mischief. He told of how he still feels
some loyalty to his ancestral flag, the Union Jack, but also
stressed that the meaning of all of these symbols are different for
each person. He was admitted into membership.
Mr. Magda then re-petitioned the Society for
membership, and told of his extraordinarily busy schedule this last
quarter, and how he hopes that he can be let back in to show his
love for the Society. He was subsequently re-admitted into
membership.
The Society then had the distinct
pleasure of moving into Elections.
The first office to be voted upon was
President, and Mr. Pyrdum, Mr. Weaver, and Ms. Brignac were
nominated. Mr. Pyrdum was elected.
For the office of Vice-President, Ms.
Mingledorff was the sole nominee, and was accepted by acclamation.
For the Judicial Council, Mr. Guy, Mr.
Weaver, Ms. Yarber, and Ms. McKinney were all nominated, with Mr.
Guy, Ms. McKinney, and Ms. Yarber elected. Ms. McKinney was then
elected to the office of Chief Justice.
In the race for Secretary, Ms.
Shillington was the sole nominee, and subsequently accepted by
acclamation.
For the office of Librarian, Mr.
Smiley, Ms. Moultrie, and Mr. Shumaker were nominated, with Mr.
Smiley winning the election.
Mr. Hortman, Mr. Slone, Ms. Moultrie,
and Mr. Norman were nominated for the office of Custodian, and Mr.
Norman elected into office.
At this point, Ms. Shillington was
this real obnoxious person, and was ejected by our strapping young
Sergeant-at-Arms, Mr. Slone...He is sooooo dreamy...Maybe we should
give him five bucks.
For the office of Sergeant-at-Arms,
Ms. Kravig was the sole nominee, and accepted by acclamation into
office.
The Society then moved into New
Business, where Ms. Richie took the floor, and presented the
following resolution:
Be it Resolved: The Constitution of
the Demosthenian Literary Society shall be amended as follows:
To Article II shall be added:
"Section 4: Meetings of the Demosthenian
Literary Society may be moved from their assigned date by a
three-fourths vote of the Society, provided that there are
three-fourths of the full-voting members of the Society present for
the vote.
"Section 5: Special meetings of the
Demosthenian Literary Society may be called by the President,
provided the meeting is announced two weeks before the date of the
proposed special meeting. Announcements may be posted in the Lower
Chamber. Special Meetings may also be called by a three-fourths
vote of the Society, provided both that three-fourths of the
full-voting members of the Society are present and that the vote is
taken two full weeks before the date of the proposed special
meeting."
Respectfully,
Derek Bowman
Carl Pyrdum
Rebecca Richie
The speaker added that this was exactly what
Robert's Rules maintains, and that it was a generally good idea for
us to have this in the Constitution, regardless of politics.
The motion was automatically tabled,
and the Society adjourned at 10:16 PM, following Mr. Bowman's
Critic's Report.
Speakin' of pants, I know ya'll can't
see, but under this here table, I am admiring the pants of the big
man sitting next to me, the Prez., Mr. Pyrdum. The guy really knows
what he is doing. It is as if he knows exactly which buttons to
push with me to get me going...Blood, scars, physical pain...I don't
know how I'll handle it for just one week, let alone a whole
quarter.
But that is all beside the point.
What I really have my eye on is that little peach at the end of the
bench, Ms. Mingledorff. I told everybody that we were just jamming
on Sunday, but I must confess that she had me singing by the end of
our session. She knows how to play a mean guitar, that's for sure.
Anyway, enough of me. You'll be
getting plenty more later on...Lots more. That's a promise...Wanna
shake on it?
Respectfully submitted this twentieth day of
November, 1997
Donna J. Shillington, presenting Secretary
Michael J. Shumaker, authoring Secretary
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