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Minutes for the
Demosthenian Meeting of the 6th of April, 2000
Welcome to possibly the shortest set
of minutes in the history of Demosthenian. Minute: 60 seconds..
That’s all the responsibility I have, right? Ok... Let me tell you
why these may be the shortest minutes: Debate Team! To let you guys
know how much work we’ve put into this event, I’ll break it down by
the numbers. 5 Team members, 2 coaches, 2 weekends, 2 meetings a
week, 2 hours a night, more than a dozen speeches incase of the
f-factor, and in this past week alone, over 25 hours of practice,
not including research on our own and time put in practicing. And
then, there are the minutes. According to the constitution I’m
required to give you a run down of last week’s happenings... So,
here it is:
The meeting was
called to order with 1 first time guest and 3 2nd or 3rd time guests
with Mr. Smiley present representing the alumni.
Ms. Graham spoke
of how she was not patient, unlike the mule with the mud. Please
don’t shoot animals stuck down wells.
Mr. Kennedy
likes Saturday morning cartoons with his blanket, awww...
Both were
admitted into membership and with that Ms. Bennewitz informed us
about the wonderful world of couches and people using the hall.
We moved into
Programs and we had one! Oration/Declamation is the name of it, and
it began something like this:
Ms. Mikell made
personal attacks at the majority of the room, but without a bench
was able to get away with it. Maybe it would’ve been better with
background music to make it sound like a war movie. She want’s to
supply us with a DJ and 2 turntables, at a price.
Mr. Callahan,
the Democrat, Democrat, Democrat, was dismayed to say the least
about recent political happenings in Washington regarding lil’
Elian. Gore has shamed the White House.
Ms. Arnold said
that even though immortality isn’t yet available through science,
books, especially those with unicorns and dragons in can really help
us believe that we can.
Mr. Cooper
argued against the death sentence making the arguments clear and
easy to understand. Remember that 2 wrongs do not make a right.
Mr. Miller said
that we should live life like it were your... ummm.. That’s what we
had to decide. Miller argued first, otherwise you’re just risking
your life everyday.
Ms. Graham
argued that animals have rights, and so do vegetables. Only, she
went on to say how a nice juicy bloody steak tastes really nice, yet
vegetables have no defense, meaning that she doesn’t like eating
them.. Or something.
Mr. Rivner said
that we should all heal the world and make it better for the people
who come after us. People working hard together can leave a better
world for the next generation.
Ms. Dunham
sometimes overwhelmed by the days. She read a poem of her own
making saying that regret was a worthless emotion.
Mr. Goodhew went
against the general feely good emotions of the evening and asked us
all to burn our dead for fuel. What good are they doing down there
anyway? Let’s let them light up our cities!
Mr. Childs was
hilarious. Speaking on British comic books he claimed he was the
best speaker in the room. Right behind my... nevermind, that
shouldn’t be in here...
At this point a
brief 5-minute bathroom break was given for Ms. Frawley and her band
of merry men (and Ms. Wilson).
Returning... Mr.
Roca read a poem. She had some horses, she had lots of different
types of horses that did different things.
Ms. Johnson is
getting married in June. She’s the sex goddess of the Western
Hemisphere. She had a big bag of sex toys too...
Mr. Cohoon said
that he was a sex goddess to. Chose a poem about the South from our
library.
Ms. Boggs rapped
a little and danced a little, and generally made a pretty nice fool
of herself, but did a good job. Shakespeare getting it down...
raise the roof!
Mr. Ramsay,
obviously disorientated after the many parties said that his heroes
were the debate team.. Awww... Damn! It feels good to be a gangsta!
Mr. Miller read
from Newsweek to inform all of us with pending lawsuits against
hospitals to try Alternative Dispute Resolution, a more successful
way of milking money in a nation full of frivolous lawsuits.
Mr. Crouse read
an article by Dave Barry about the census. What will happen if we
do/do not fill out the census? Read and find out.
Ms. Moultrie
read Israfel by Poe. Probably the last time that we’ll hear Ms.
Moultrie read poetry, ever.
Ms. Arnold asked
us about Christian Ethics and how it hasn’t worked. The demands of
Jesus are hard, but don’t consider yourself a stranger.
Ms. Kravig read
a poem by Sylvia Plath. Daddy was written by a woman who tried to
kill herself 3 times.. It reflects in the poem.
Ms. Mendoza read
from Zora Neal Hurston. Sat on the porch she remembers watching the
white folk go down to Orlando. The story of a young, coloured woman
growing up.
Mr. Callahan
gave us advice on love. Is this credible? Well, he did read it
from a book. He gave us advice on paper and pens, as well as the
general content of writing love letters.
Ms. Bennewitz
read a poem by herself, I mean, anon. Errr.. Yes. A mix of popular
music found on computers around dorms. The wonders of MP3's!
Ms. Mikell works
for NPR. Read us a short excerpt from something she found. Lazy
people make this country more efficient, and being lazy - go and
find the work yourself and find out what it said.
Ms. Frawley then
thanked everyone for their wonderful orations and declamations and
she will announce the results at the Spring Banquet!
We then
adjourned subject to Mr. Patton’s 15-second critic’s report.
If Ms. Bauhan
could see Mr. Rivner later, he has the shirt that you left at Reid’s
Party. We found it in the Star Wars room, on top of some guy...
yeah. Also, if we could all learn the words to songs I would
appreciate it. Our timing sucked on several songs, and booty
dancing does not mean rubbing up and down the closest man, Mr.
Ramsay. Also to note, Mr. Oudi, I hope your ankle is feeling much
better, after getting down like that I wasn’t surprised when you
told me you hurt your foot. Nice dancing though! Again, I
appologise these minutes are not as wonderful as they’re supposed to
be, but if you join me later (I’ll probably be drunk somewhere) I’ll
be glad to tell you my full collection of PK jokes, if we win, and
if we lose, even though a slight possibility, can’t rule it out,
I’ll be in a really bad mood and I’ll need a hug... please.
Respectfully
submitted the 13th day of April, 2000
Karl Goodhew
Substitute
Secretary:
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University of Georgia 