| Hola amigos. I know it's been a while since I rapped at ya,
but word on the street is that tonight is the all night meeting.
In celebration, tonight I will present the minutes in the style
of the feminist critique of “Girls Gone Wild” I inadvertently
ran across on EBSCOhost.
So first, let me just say that the intention of these minutes
is not to condemn ANM participants, or to accuse them of false
consciousness. For some, the experience may be powerful and/or
pleasurable, as reflected in their reported comments. Instead,
the goal of this is to interrogate how media texts successfully
replicate themselves by mobilizing discourses of the carnivalesque,
the neoliberalist emphasis on autonomous consent choice, and
the fetishized (post)feminist mantra of “individual choice”
to stage an effect of agency.
Because of its pervasiveness in mainstream culture, the ANM
functions hegemonically in a number of ways—not only through
its limited representations of “real” Demosthenians afforded
the opportunity to step temporarily outside their self-constituted
norms, but also as a mechanism that literally and figuratively
banks on its consent process to serve its own ends. Ultimately,
what makes the ANM so seductive is that it functions as a purveyor
of empowering opportunity. It establishes participation as socially
inconsequential, as pleasurable; and it appropriates a depoliticized,
empty model of choice to produce the effect of agency. In his
essential critical work On The Nature of Things, theorist Claude
Raymond says of Demosthenian:
The meeting of Thursday, the 8th of February 2007 was called
to order. Representatives from the illiterary society presented
this year's ISD resolution. Someone should give the secretary
a copy so I can tell you what it was exactly, but it had something
to do with limiting congressional term limits. The justices
then cleansed the hall.
There were six first-time guests, and three returning guests.
In committee reports, we learned that Dr. Pratt in the history
department wrote a paper on the Society that we should fact-check,
because we're really not that racist anymore if you really think
about it, that the hall cleaning was to be held Thursday, that
whoever stole “College Life in the Old South” is very naughty
indeed, that this meeting is coming up, and that the officers
for next year's high school tournament have been selected. Oh,
and there was to be a bake sale on Valentine's Day to benefit
Relay for Life.
There was one petition for membership. Mr. Beusse told us
three simple rules for cellphone etiquette, and was rapturously
welcomed into the Society.
Mr. Hansen was appointed critic.
In Old Business, Mr. Darsie presented a resolution amending
the Society's non-discrimination clause in compliance with new
University policy. It passed 29 to 1 among members.
In New Business, Mr. O'Brien presented the case for Mr. Williamson's
impeachment. It was a very long list.
Mr. Dowell resolved that we shouldn't have a meeting Thursday
the 15th. It passed.
Mr. Broach opened up the floor for debate on the ISD resolution.
In the spirit of Mr. Martinson, let me present the debate in
paragraph form:
The resolution would eliminate professional politicians, who
know how to get the job done. The resolution is bad, but easy
to debate. The resolution isn't specific enough. What end should
the resolution seek to achieve? How do you best represent a
body in a democracy? Congressmen should focus on governing,
not on elections. Senators are in office for too long. America
needs stability. The key word is “ought.” A lame duck period
would lead to underhandedness.
We moved on, and Mr. Addison presented
BIR: The United States provides the correct
model for human existence.
Respectfully submitted, Matt Addison.
Ms. Keyes-Blumer noted that America should export human rights
concerns and healthcare.
Mr. Weeks said that being an American is not such a good thing,
because we are underappreciated and more likely to be bombed
than other parts.
Mr. Hansen said that correct is not the same as good in the
resolution, because America systematically destroys its forests
and aquifers, and that the U.S. should institute a dictatorship
to prevent further destruction.
Ms. Barnett said that Americans are the loudest, and therefore
the most awesome.
Mr. Brettschneider noted that America exports many great things,
such as high cholesterol, capitalism and Gwen Stefani.
Mr. Webber said that because tree-huggers are inhuman due
to their love of trees, while still being American, Americans
cannot be correct.
Ms. Myers said that America's culture is based on the acceptance
of other cultures, so if we destroy them then we destroy our
own.
A guest said that though America steals the ideas of others,
it is also the society that corrects itself most readily.
Mr. Vaudo said that Switzerland and the Netherlands are better
because they are more peaceful and wealthy than the U.S..
The question was called and failed 9 to 11 among members,
and passed 2 to 0 among guests. It was noted that Mr. D. Weiss
abstained because he is a citizen of Johntopia.
Mr. Broach then rose to present
BIR: Anna Nicole Smith should be made
an honorary member of the Society.
I have written down that he was ejected, and that he takes
really long dumps. To that end I ask Ms. Wilkinson, my substitute
for this speech: how do you know that, exactly?
A guest then rose to present
BIR: Embryonic stem cell research is ethical and
should be federally funded.
Respectfully submitted, Tulsi Patel.
Mr. Brettschneider noted that researchers are fleeing to other
countries with more forgiving stem cell laws, and that the U.S.
should be open to stem cell research.
Mr. Vaudo said that the U.S. should not limit scientific knowledge,
and that the resolution has to be looked at from a utilitarian
perspective.
Mr. O'Donnell disagreed that stem cell research should be
federally funded, but agreed that it is beneficial.
Mr. Beusse said that the resolution would reverse natural
selection.
Mr. Addison said that stem cell research is an example of
bad scientific knowledge, just like nuclear energy.
Ms. Natrajan said that stem cells can't even become organs,
let alone people, and that unused cells would turn into cancer.
The question was called, and passed 12 to 6 among members
and tied 1 to 1 among guests.
The meeting was adjourned subject to Mr. Hansen's critic's
report.
Respectfully submitted,
William D. Richards
|
University of Georgia 