| Hola, amigos. I know it's been a while since I rapped at ya,
but things have been pretty crazy around these parts. Take this
week, for instance. We have Oration Declamation, a celebration
of oratory, a chance to see that we're not just a bunch of international
affairs nerds. We have a sensitive side. We're more than just
social science journals and raw data. We can go to coffee poetry
night downtown and applaud politely. Or, given the choice, not
show up at all and self-medicate instead. Allow me to give you
a preview of what you'll hear.
In Orations, Mr. Williamson will extrapolate upon his appreciation
for “lawness” of a law, the characteristics that make them lawy,
i.e., moist and gooey, as well as from whence legitimacy is
derived. Ms. Smith will tell us about the last five guys she
dated, and rate their ability to “perform” on a plus-minus scale.
Me, I will tell you about my favorite kind of erasers, what
to look for in an eraser, and how to get maximum sustained performance
out of your unit, i.e., “erasing.” I'll give you a hint: Magic
Rub.
In Declamations, Mr. Brettschneider will read from The Fountainhead
for about thirty minutes. Mr. Weiss the Lesser will read at
length from the owner's manual for his digital camera. Mr. Darsie
will read twenty pages from The Economist. And Ms. Bernhard
will read from Good Housekeeping. I had a declamation, but questions
regarding Amber Alerts were raised, leaving me with the following
compromise:
The meeting of Thursday, the 29th of March 2007 was called
to order at some point. There were four first-time guests, and
one returning guest.
There was one petition for membership. Ms. Crawford, speaking
as a self-professed hippie, used the example of the Blue Ridge
Mountains to tell of the importance of preserving nature. She
was rapturously welcomed into the Society.
Ms. Keyes-Blumer was appointed critic. In Programs, Mr. Williamson
gave his mid-semester address, outlining the difference between
fall and spring semesters, mainly a greater emphasis on programs
in the spring.
In Committee Reports, there's going to be a camping trip,
there was a swim meet, Orations and Declamations are this week,
there's going to be a crawlspace exploration, the Spring Banquet
is coming up, there's a Contact List, and the Speaker's Key
coffin hasn't had a lid put on it yet.
In New Business, Mr. Weiss the Lesser recalled the recent
case of Yongsheng Li, a graduate student reported missing and
dead within the span of several weeks, as well as the Red &
Black's photograph of his neighbors receiving news of his death.
He presented,
BIR: The Red & Black acted appropriately in publishing the photo of Yongsheng Li's neighbors recieving the news that he had been found dead.
RS, Josh D. Weiss
Mr. Broach responded that though it was within the rights
of the paper to print the photo, it was in poor taste. Just
because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Also,
all Asians are related. But he didn't really mean that. Seriously.
I reminded the chamber that it lived in a society governed
by images. News photos are designed to evoke a response, which
means that the photographer did her job when she conjured an
angry mob. Also, all Asians are not, in fact, related.
Mr. Miller compared the Red & Black to the SS. After all,
both were doing their jobs, right? Also, nobody really cares
about the victim, because we didn't say his name and stuff.
Mr. Etheridge admitted that, though he assumed the Asians
in the photograph were related to Mr. Li, the premise of Mr.
Weiss's argument was flawed. Clearly, the Red & Black was
not trying to start a discussion about the role of media.
Mr. Dowell recalled images of Pearl Harbor, noting that they
motivated us into World War II. Nobody complained about photographs
of 9/11 or the Oklahoma City bombings. Shocking photographs
catalyze a nation.
Ms. Waltz spoke as a former high school newspaper editor,
soliloquizing that not every story needs a photo. The Red &
Black had a right, but not a responsibility, to print the offending
photo.
Mr. Vaudo agreed that the photograph's commentary on the role
of media was not conveyed to the public. Since the photo had
“nothing to do” with the story it illustrated, it should not
have been printed.
Mr. Webber recalled that photographs of Vietnam caused Americans
to pull out, illustrating the power of images. The difference
between those and this photo is that the Red & Black used
its right to print the photo to promote the cause of shock value.
Ms. Pearl, an alumna, wondered about the difference between
this photograph and all the other historical instances. The
distinction appears to be one of proximity: the Red & Black
photo showed our neighbors, while the others showed events that
did not directly affect anyone in our immediate community.
Mr. Darsie said that the photograph played directly into Fox
5's hands. Besides, it was too large. Also, writers and photographers
should work together more closely to ensure appropriate photos
are used to illustrate stories.
Mr. Hansen made the distinction that the appropriateness of
photography hinges on the subject's assumption of a right to
privacy. For example, we wouldn't take photographs of naked
people forced out of a burning building.
Mr. Pearl said that images can be published without showing
individuals. The right to privacy extends to a right to one's
own image.
Mr. Weeks argued that though the Red & Black was within
its rights, it's a shame that the reporter didn't write a better
article. As a private business, the Red & Black's responsibility
is to its financial backers, meaning that they fulfilled their
responsibility regardless.
Ms. Moxley made the point that the article and picture described
how the tragedy of Mr. Li's death affected the community. That
said, the photograph was appropriate.
The question was called, and passed 15 to 14 among members,
and 2 to 0 among guests. It was noted that God forbid any “nay”
voters every work at a newspaper.
Ms. Myers then demonstrated that, for giving resolutions,
abstinence just isn't the right policy, and presented
BIR: The Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty
is—and should be—dead.
Respectfully submitted,
Jordan Myers
Ms. Wilkinson argued that the NPT isn't useless. It does,
however, need to be adjusted. The idea that few states should
have access to nuclear weapons is worth upholding.
Mr. Miller made the point that nuclear weapons create massive
amounts of waste. Furthermore, in order to reduce their impact,
countries must engage in a policy of mutually assured destruction.
Mr. Darsie responded that the NPT exists as a sign of the
time at which it was signed. The nuclear utopia the resolution
would create is a bad idea, and would recreate the Cold War.
The treaty's successes should be built upon, and its failures
dismissed.
Mr. Dowell argued that the treaty is defunct, and therefore
needs to be thrown out. He pointed to examples of other failed
treaties, such as the Treaty of Versailles, noting that if it's
worthless, it should be gotten rid of.
Mr. Dutta compared nuclear weapons to cupcakes. I'm not kidding.
He pointed out that no one should have nuclear weapons, because
proliferation is the inevitable result.
Mr. Hansen used a geometric proof to show that getting rid
of the NPT will exponentially increase the prospect for war.
Mr. O'Donnell said that nuclear weapons can be used for good.
After all, the ends justify the means.
Ms. Keyes-Blumer made the point that the treaty won't affect
rogue nations. But the spirit of the treaty is worth upholding.
The NPT has potential, which makes it worth upholding.
The question was called, and failed 4 to 19 among members,
and 0 to 1 among one guest. It was noted that those who voted
against don't believe in equality for all. Mr. O'Donnell added
that he voted in favor, but doesn't believe in equality for
all. No kidding.
Mr. Dowell then rose to present
BIR: ____________ should be made into a
national holiday.
Respectfully submitted,
Stephen Bond Dowell III
The following were proposed: Commodore Matthew Perry Day,
Stephen Colbert Day, Magic Finger Day, Zucchini Day, 420 and
America Day, Jerry Springer Day, Chauffeur Day, Bloomsday, Burton
Leon Reynolds Day, I did not have sexual relations with that
glove does not fit you must acquit Jonbenet Ramsey Beanie Baby
Day, Arbor Day (aka America's Mythical Phallus Day), Token Appreciation
Day, Fuck It Day, Robert Toombs Memorial Alcoholism Day, Stonesucker
Day, Tarantino Day, Air Conditioning Day, and Multiple Orgasm
and God Appreciation Day.
The question was called, and Multiple Orgasm and God Appreciation
Day was forever enshrined into the pantheon of federal holidays.
It was noted in the minutes that only two women voted in favor,
because less that 17 percent of women can have them. It was
also noted that if it weren't for the cleanup factor, every
day would be multiple orgasm day. Also, “fuck it.”
The meeting was adjourned at 11:30, subject to Ms. Keyes-Blumer's
critic's report.
Booyakasha.
Respectfully submitted,
William “The D Is For Diamond” Richards
|
University of Georgia 